A Good Girl
by antih3ro
Summary: I wanted him to love me madly. Mercilessly. I wanted him to want me so desperately, he didn't know what love was outside of me. A/H high school-ish.


**A Good Girl**

1.

His room seemed so much bigger before.

I remember the first time I saw it more vividly than I'd like. He was still with her back then. She sat in his bed, her hair dyed pale pink, her eyes rimmed with an electric purple. She was wearing his favorite t-shirt. Only Rosalie Hale could make an oversized shirt and a plaid skirt work. I wanted to claw her perfect smile off her perfect, porcelain face.

"Hi sweets," she purred, winking at me and blowing a kiss to Alice beside me. "I love your hair," she said to Alice, eyeing the freshly dyed rainbow tips of her A-line bob.

"Gee thanks!" Alice said sarcastically before rolling her eyes at me.

I nudged her. It was a bad plan to bring Alice with me.

Edward and Jasper sat in the corner by his desk, rolling a blunt and taking swigs from a bottle of finely aged and exquisitely priced whiskey. His father was going to murder him when he got back from his business trip in London. Edward joked constantly about having his bags packed, just waiting to get sent to the east coast for boarding school.

He didn't even look up as I took a seat at the edge of his bed.

"You made it," Edward said quietly.

I snapped my attention to him. I frowned as Jasper stared at me, his light brown eyes glazed and lazy. I watched Edward's back and his shoulders, watched the way the muscles in his forearm flexed as he rolled the blunt tightly between his fingers.

"Yeah. Thanks for inviting me..."

He stopped, turned his head to look at his alarm clock by his bed. I couldn't take my eyes off of him, I followed every slight movement he made. I noticed everything about him—the tight, ropy muscles in his neck, the way his tongue swiped quickly over his lips.

"You're really early." He turned back around, his face a blur.

My cheeks flared. He said the party started at six. It was six. I looked up at Alice. She shrugged and picked at her lime green coated nails.

"She'll learn about being fashionably late and all that other bullshit," Rosalie said behind me. She reached out and grabbed me by my shoulders, pulling me back and laying my head in her lap.

I fought the urge to scramble up and ask her what she was doing. But she ran her fingers soothingly through my hair and smiled down at me. Her eyes were like the ocean, so blue and so deep, it was hard to look away.

"She's just a baby for now," she said with a small smile. "But if she sticks with us, she'll learn."

I could feel my lips tighten into a straight line. I just turned 13. I was not a baby. I hated her for calling me one. I would slit my throat if Edward thought I was too.

"You're pretty," she said running a finger down the bridge of my nose. "You're going to torch hearts when you get older."

I wanted to roll my eyes and tell her to fuck off. She was so fixated on how young I was, like she was some wrinkled up, gray haired hag. She was sixteen. They all were.

I get it now, though. She was worried about me. Not about my well-being or anything like that, she was afraid of me. It made her feel better to think that I was too young. Too young for parties, drugs...sex. Too young for Edward.

"Want?" she asked, gently shaking a bottle of strawberry vodka mixed with strawberry Fanta.

I nodded and reached for the bottle.

She shook her head and pulled it away.

"Open wide," she said with a playful grin.

I understood why she was wildly popular. I even got why Edward was so into her. She was effortlessly cool and had a certain sweetness about her that she balanced out with an adorable quirkiness. But to me, she was nothing. An irritant. A temporary roadblock in my one-way trip. She was to be tolerated.

I opened my mouth and let her have control, she could have it for now. I swallowed as best I could, trying to keep up with her heavy hand. I could feel the fizz spill down my chin and sat up quickly, wiping it away before it dripped onto my top.

I hoped Edward was too distracted to see me choke.

"Easy, Ro." He stood. "She's just a kid."

* * *

Alice and I leaned on a lonely wall, outcasted. The upperclassmen stared us down like we were the lowest form of evolution and stayed away from us like they might catch our strain of lame.

We sipped from our cans of beer. I had lost Edward a while back, he disappeared with a large crowd. I made it my mission to find him.

I searched the yard, then the bathrooms. I looked in the pool house and the garage. He wasn't in his room or the three guest rooms, and he wasn't in the master.

There was only one room left, at the very end of the hall. The door was open a crack to Edward's father's office. The light was off, but the windows in the room were tall and wide and the curtains were left undrawn.

Rosalie sat on Carlisle's desk, her legs spread wide with Edward between them. She had her eyes shut as he sucked on the side of her neck. She let out a small moan as his hand slipped beneath her shirt.

I followed his other hand as he ran it slowly up her thigh. Rosalie rolled her head back when it disappeared under her skirt.

Edward was whispering in her ear, his hand working between her legs. Rosalie gasped suddenly, shivering. She bit at her bottom lip, before trying to pull back and close her legs.

Edward wrapped his other arm around her back and slid her back to him, holding her tightly as she convulsed in his arms.

I closed my eyes and took a small step back.

I needed to puke.

* * *

It's hard to see in the dark. The window let in the faint glow of the moon. I made my way slowly around him room. His bed still feels the same. I lean on it, pressing firmly down with my hands. He still has his old posters up and his furniture positioned exactly as it was. His closet is pretty empty, just a few dress shirts and sweaters. Even though I know I won't see it, my heart sinks when I don't see his navy blue hoodie. It was my favorite. He could do damage in that hoodie.

I walk over to his dresser and stare at my dim reflection. My lips are ruby red and my hair is curled at the ends. I pull off my coat and let it drop to the floor. I wasn't sure if the black laced bra and panty set were right for me. But Whit and Alice swore up and down that I was sex on legs in them. I wanted to wear a dark blue teddy. Edward said I was beautiful in blue. But I'm new to this game. I'll do whatever it takes to win and Whit is a seasoned pro.

I look at my curves, my full breasts and tiny waist. I'm not the baby he would remember. When I hear his car pull up the driveway, I give myself one last glance before positioning myself on his bed.

And then I wait.


End file.
